Saturday, 5 May 2012

Divergent Discussion 3: Candor - Is honesty the best policy? #INSURGENTUK #CANDORUK

This post is part of the Team #CANDORUK campaign for #INSURGENTUK. Click on the picture above for more information.

As part of the Insurgent release week madness I thought it would be fun to have some discussion posts about Divergent. I got the ideas for these topics from the HarperCollins Divergent Discussion Guide that can be found online here. These posts will contain spoilers for Divergent but I'd like to keep them spoiler free for Insurgent so please keep that in mind when you're commenting. I'll be welcoming members of Team #CANDORUK here every day to answer a different question so please give them all a warm welcome!

Taking part in today's discussion we have:
Keren - Gothic Angel

Today's topic:
Since we are team Candor it seems only fair that we have a discussion about what that means. Tris says that “It must require bravery to be honest all the time” do you agree with her? Members of Candor are always honest – sometimes brutally so – do you think that honesty is always the best policy? Are there times when it is better to keep your opinions to yourself? How different would society be if everyone always told the truth? Would it be a nice place to live?

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My Thoughts:

I do think that Tris is right that you have to be brave to be honest ALL of the time. There are times when it is easier to tell a lie rather than hurt someone with the truth. In general I believe that honesty is the best policy, particularly when it comes to the important things. However, I don't think any of us ALWAYS tell the truth. There are times when everyone tells little white lies - even if it's only to tell a friend that their new top looks lovely or of course their new jeans don't make their bum look big! Sometimes you have to bite the bullet though and tell the truth even if you know it will upset someone - there are times when I've wished people had been more honest with me in the past even if it would have been hard to hear what they had to say.

I don't think I can picture a world where nobody ever lies though, I think it could be quite an uncomfortable place unless people lied by omission which would kind of defeat the object! I don't think I'd want to know what some people really think of me and sometimes those little white lies can make the difference between having a really good day and a really crappy one. 

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Carly's Thoughts:

I definitely think it requires bravery to be honest all the time. I don’t think anyone can truly say they are honest 100% of the time. Who doesn’t tell white lies every so often? I’m happy to hold my hands up and say I do! It must be difficult to tell the truth even when you know it’s going to hurt someone, or cause drama, or upset people. Maybe it makes you a coward to lie to save hurting someone’s feelings but I don’t think so.

Sure, if it’s a big deal then obviously it’s best to tell the truth but what’s wrong with telling someone the cake they spent hours baking is yummy, even if it’s a little dry? As far as I’m concerned it leaves them feeling good about themselves and I’d rather take a big gulp of water and swallow their boulder cake with a smile on my face than turn around and say, ‘actually, you want the truth? Yeah, it’s crap. Bake better, bitch.’ I don’t condone lying compulsively or about big issues but I can’t imagine behind honest all the time. ALL the time.

I think society could be a nicer place to live if everybody told the truth, in time. It would certainly take a lot of getting used to and I think it would cause problems initially. However, after a period of time it might be somewhat freeing to never have any secrets and just be honest all the time. I’m sure at first it would suck and I’d run for the hills weeping the first time somebody told me they didn’t like me to my face. Eventually, though, I think it could lead to a more peaceful society. If everybody’s honest all the time nobody has anything to hide, nobody needs to suspect anybody else, you’d never need to worry about anybody’s motives. It would be difficult to get used to and would depend on everybody being committed to it but it is something I think could work, though it’s not a society I think I would particularly enjoy living in.

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Keren's Thoughts:

In my honest opinion, there's such a thing as too much honesty. Sometimes there are things better left unsaid. You should always try to be as honest as possible, I mean I hardly ever lie. The only lies I will tell, I guess, are lies by omission. I would rather not tell someone something that is likely to hurt them and have a negative effect on them. I would rather be honest where possible, but sometimes, the situation calls for a little more tact.

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Jo's Thoughts:

I both agree and disagree with Tris. To be born into Candor is to not know any different; you’re brought up being told that you must be absolutely honest about everything. As much as they may sometimes dislike to, I think those born into Candor are so used to it, it couldn’t really be called bravery. However, if someone is choosing to transfer to Candor, then they must be brave. This is not about just telling the truth about what you think of other people, or telling people the truth when they believe a lie, it’s also telling the truth about you; private things, things you’re ashamed of, or telling the truth about how you feel all the time. That’s not really something I would find comfortable.

I think honesty is the best policy when it comes to things that are important, such as relationships, your health, etc. I don’t think it’s really great to tell your best mate you hate her haircut, though. And if you’re always honest about things, how can you ever plan a surprise? There are times when being honest is absolutely necessary. I think there are also times when, for your own sense of… privacy, for want of a better word, when you don’t have to tell the world the truth.

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M's Thoughts:

I’m very honest and it gets me into trouble all the time. But too many people keep their mouths shut about terrible things that go on in our world and I just can’t do that.

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Iffath's Thoughts:

I definitely agree with Tris. It is incredibly hard to be honest all the time, and sometimes I wonder how people do it. I like to think that when I lie, it’s not intentional, it just happens, but sometimes it’s more than that. Sometimes you have to think about how a lie can affect people/events and the consequences it will have. I do think that honesty is the best policy in a lot of cases, but I also don’t, which is pretty confusing. But it’s quite simple: sometimes lying is the best option. The option with the least negative consequences, and therefore the option that you must choose. Ahem. Don’t show my mother this! (Mum, I don’t lie. Honest! I’M CANDOR, I CAN’T LIE!!!!)

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Helen's Thoughts:

“Bravery to be honest all the time”? … Or maybe stupidity?! Honesty can indeed require huge bravery and courage; standing up for truth can be very difficult. When there is a lot at stake or the issues are important I take my hat off to those who have the guts to put their necks on the line. But the odd little white lie? Isn’t this a bit of the oil that helps society to run smoothly? “Does my bum look big in this?” it may be kinder to boost the confidence of the questioner rather than be honest! Of course it is true to say that if we knew we would only get a brutally honest reply it might stop us asking in the first place…

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Thank you to everyone for taking part, I've really enjoyed reading all your answers!

I'd love to know what you all think too so please join the discussion in the comments. A lot of the Candor team will be checking back throughout the week to see if you agree with them or not!

2 comments:

  1. I agree with Jo It would take bravery to join Candor but less so remain within it.
    I don't think that total honesty would create a peaceful society, If anything it has the potential to cause more ruction for example, it wouldn't stop people believeing certain predjudices, but I might mean that we would have to hear them.
    I agree with Helen and others that you would just be cleverer and lie by ommission and I have to admit (with a little shame) that would think twice before saying Hi, How are you?
    Caz

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Caz, Jo raised a really interesting point about it not being as brave to stay in Candor if you were born there. I hadn't thought to look at it like that until I read her comments! That's also a good point about asking people "how are you?" you might not always have the time to listen to the answers! It's been really interesting seeing everyone's different takes on these discussion ideas :o)

    ReplyDelete

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